he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize