I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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