she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I could fuck to npr.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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