my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize