i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize