I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
