Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
