didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
