I'm going to jail i love you
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUCK WHALES
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
