people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
