the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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