I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
