I just pynch a tree in the face
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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