there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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