Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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