I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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