Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
