worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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