farters have to be the big spoon...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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