real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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