how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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