oh god the rape fog is back!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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