Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
