your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
