he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
