just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This is my gift to your gina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club