her vagine was all disorganized.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.