She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?