if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.