My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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