You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
