Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
