So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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