There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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