we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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