Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
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Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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