I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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