OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
