Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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