I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would fuck him just for his dog
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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