I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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