So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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