Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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