In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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