omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize