ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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