He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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