There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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