Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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