White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
