a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
