Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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