ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
