my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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