As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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