So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You dont lie about slip and slides
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
