I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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