Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
