Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize