real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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