He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
