piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
