how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize